Make Me Smile Monday

On Saturday we woke up and went downstairs to see if Santa had eaten his cookies and to see if any new presents had made there way under the tree, which of course they had. This in turn resulted in much squealing and jumping up and down. Before opening our stockings however, it's tradition at our house to a couple of Christmas stories. We like to really take our time and savour every moment. This year we read "God Gave Us Christmas" by Lisa Tawn Bergren and "A Fruitcake Christmas" by Max Lucado. Then we read the story of Jesus birth from "The Picture Bible" (our copy has a plain red cover):



After reading we opened our stockings and then enjoyed some Bacon and Potato Breakfast Pizza with some fresh fruit and orange juice for breakfast.

What really made my heart sing this Christmas was how appreciative each of our children were when opening their presents. A few years ago we began a "one person opens one present at a time" policy (as a way to help ensure we were able to really soak in all the excitement and make it last). They did such an incredible job! It was so nice to see them show appreciation and give thank-yous and hugs with little to no reminders. It really was such a fun and relaxing time. And such a great learning experience!

A highlight of the morning for me was when Jason and I were explaning the significance of the Learning to Read gift we bought through World Vision. We shared how some children don't get the chance to learn to read and write. This really hit home to our 7 year old daughter. "That's horrible," she said "reading's the greatest!"  There was so much sincerity and compassion in her response. She was so happy we could be giving these gifts; I thought it was beautiful.

Santa Claus and Egg-Nog

So, now after sharing my thoughts on celebrating Christmas, I thought it would be fun to share what role Santa plays in our lives.

When Sarah was 2 years old I deliberated about what to tell her about Santa. I had such a hard time telling her he's real because - well - he isn't! At the same time I worried that it might steal some of the excitement and joy from the season if we didn't. I wasn't sure what to do. In the end Jason and I decided to tell her the truth - that Santa's not real. To us this never meant boycotting Santa, we just simply hoped to avoid the potential heartbreak of eventually discovering the truth. It was a question of do we tell her now or later? It's been interesting to see how things have developed since then.

***As a side note: we've made sure to be very clear that this is something children need to find out from their parents - not their friends - so they know not to "break the news" to anyone.

One thing I've been happy to see is that much the way kids love princess movies and superheroes (all the while knowing they're pretend) our kids have enjoyed a lot of excitement over Santa. We go visit him every year down town where he sets himself up in front of the post office. They are more than willing to tell Santa what they would like for Christmas. Every Christmas Eve, we set out homemade chocolate chip cookies and egg-nog for Santa (did you know Santa loves egg-nog?) to eat when he fills the stockings. They know that it's really their daddy who eats and drinks the snack, and giggle with excitement each Christmas morning when they run down stairs to make sure he really came. Children have such great imaginations!

This is the second year I've ordered gifts through World Vision (Agriculture Packs, Hygiene Kit and Literacy for Children) to go in the kids stockings and I plan on making this an annual tradition. I love the fact that we can talk openly with our children about these children who are in need without wondering why Santa doesn't have it covered.

I've also noticed that knowing he's not real has allowed them to focus more on giving to the rest of the family and appreciate what's been given to them, knowing that someone who loves them picked it out with great thought and care.

Anyways, that's what we do at our house. I'd love to hear what you do at yours!!! :)

Make Me Smile Monday

There's a sound I hear around our house multiple times a day. It's an everyday sound and there's nothing  especially pretty about the sound itself. It's the sound of our front door. Specifically it's that metallic sound the door knob makes when someone reaches out, gives it a turn and pushes the door open. We come and we go and the front door opens and closes as any good door should. It gets a lot of use. Usually, I don't give it too much thought.

Five days a week however, this same "everyday sound" takes on a life of its own. At the end of the day when Jason gets home from work the sound of door opening is like music to my ears. It reminds me of the excitement I felt 10 years ago when we were first dating. I love knowing that he's home safe and sound. I love knowing we'll be sitting down to have dinner together as a family. I love the sound of squeals and laughter as our children run and jump into his waiting arms.

I thank God for the muscial sound of our front door when my husband arrives home from work, the even more frequent sounds of a busy young family in their comings and goings and especially for safe arrivals!

Is Christmas a pagan holiday?

Have you heard the news that Jesus wasn't born on December the 25th? And that Christmas is really just a pagan holiday? I keep hearing this come up different places and find it interesting, because for the most part I'm hearing it from people who don't celebrate the birth of Christ. The message being sent is loud and clear: there are those who feel Christ shouldn't be made a part of Christmas.

My learned response is simply to allow myself the question: Should I stop celebrating Christ's birth at Christmas because he wasn't born December 25th?

There's nothing magical about December 25th and there would be nothing magical about the day of the year Jesus was actually born on - if scholars could actually find a way to pinpoint the day and not just the time of year. It feels a little bit like someone telling me that celebrating my daughters birthday a few weeks early is not a valid time to celebrate. Last year a few of her friends weren't able to make it because they were having Christmas get-togethers with their extended families. So this year we moved the party back a few weeks and avoided that same problem. It's not about the day, it's about the life! And for Chistians celebrating Christs birth it's even more importantly about the reason he came. The focus shouldn't be put on the date itself but on the celebration; especially if being concerned about it causes us to give up entirely on the celebration!

Christmas has been celebrated in December for hundreds of years (and along with that the birth of Christ). Christmas is such a huge part of our North American culture. And although each family is different with their own unique traditions most families at least have some. These kinds of family traditions are fun, healthy and help build security in our children (by letting them know we have long term - as in life long - plans of being together as a family).

If tradition isn't enough of a reason on it's own, consider once again my daughter's early birthday party. This was the first time we'd ever planned it a few weeks early and yet all parents and children involved were very understanding. They recognized the need for being practical. In the same way, it makes a lot of sense to keep it at a time when our children have a school break for the holidays and most of us get at least some time off work.  

Winter Solstice was a pagan celebration filled with pagan traditions and superstitions. People were putting their faith in something other than Jesus Christ. (We all put our faith in something.) Somewhere along the line when Winter Solstice was such a prominent part of the culture, somebody decided it would be a great time for Christians to celebrate the birth of Christ. It became a new reason to celebrate for those who didn't "share the faith" of those celebrating winter solstice. How great is that? And now in North America, at the "darkest" time of the year we take time to celebrate the birth of Christ, give to the people we love and spend time with our families.

A few weeks ago I saw a "discussion" beneath a public figure's status update. This person was sharing their frustration towards people who use the term "Happy Holidays". I was amazed at the anger shared by so many people who agreed, insisting that Christmas "always has and always will be about Jesus". As much as I respect the individual who posted the orginal remark, I couldn't disagree more! Christmas isn't about Jesus for everyone. For some it's about getting together with family, Santa, and presents. If they don't share our faith why would we expect them to make it about Jesus at Christmas time? I think it's naive and potentially even destructive to think that way. It builds an us versus them mentality.

I don't think we need to shy away from celebrating the birth of Christ at Christmas but we do need to be careful in our attitude towards others when we do. Jesus came for everyone. He came for people of every race and every faith. I don't think we're making that clear to anyone by insisting that everyone should be celebrating Christmas like we do, getting angry at people for saying Happy Holidays or by pretending other religions don't exist.

What if we start allowing our belief - that God is love and he's filled us with his love - to transform our everyday lives including the way we celebrate Christmas and the way we think and deal with others? Maybe that will be the thing that causes people to believe that the birth of a child thousands of years ago truly is worth the celebration!

Clean and Tidy

The past year has been one of change around our home. And I mean in a very literal sense not at all figuratively. At the same time it has impacted our family life in a very positive way and has developed in me a passion for all things organized! Since I'm pretty sure I've been driving my family and (some of  my) close friends crazy with this new interest of mine I feel as though I need an outlet. So, in addition to "Make Me Smile Mondays" I'm going to start up another weekly entry dedicated to organization. I'm in the process of coming up with a name for it and I would love to hear any ideas you might have. Please keep in mind I can only pick one, so I might not be able to use it. If I am able to, I will happily give you full credit when I first introduce the name. :)

For today I'd love to share my "story" with you!

Last year I was beginning to feel really overwhelmed by our home. Well that's not entirely accurate. I was feeling overwhelmed by the task of keeping my home clean and tidy. We bought our first home (a semi-detached, 3 bedroom home) in summer 2005, so we've lived here for just over 5 years. When we first moved in it was just three of us: Jason, myself and our 2 1/2 year old little girl. We felt incredibly blessed to be first time home owners and we still do. Moving from a 2 bedroom apartment to a 3 bedroom home we couldn't believe the space - it was incredible! But, 4 years and 2 additional children later and things were feeling pretty cramped. Jason and I were suddenly feeling like we didn't have enough space even though we hoped to get a few more years out of our house before selling it. I was determined to make the time we had left as comfortable as possible.

Now don't get me wrong - this wasn't like an episode of "Hoarders" or anything. But keeping my house clean felt a lot more like a roller coaster ride than a walk in the park. I would work really hard and get the house nice and clean and then in a matter of a couple of days every thing was messy again. Then I'd have to work really really hard to get it clean again only to have things fall apart in the matter of a few days. Round and round it went.

At the time I couldn't figure out what I needed to change. Until I went to visit a friend one day in her new home. She, her husband and their 4 children had just moved into a bigger house. For as long as I've known her she's always been one of those women who makes taking care of her house  look easy. Her house always seems to be not only clean and beautiful but welcoming. And now in her new (bigger) house, she still managed to make it looked that way. What was her secret? I wanted to know! Leaving her house that day I left with a very valuable piece of information: everything - no matter how small - needs a place.

That was in November. Somewhere in between that conversation and Christmas I got the flu really bad. Jason's mom watched the kids for me for two days and I took off babysitting so I could recover. Just as I was on the mend we had a few people drop by for a football game. I can't even tell you how embarrassed I was with the state of my house. I knew that even after a couple of days out of commission things didn't need to be quite so bad. It was the final straw!

On boxing day of last year, I began the process of de-cluttering the entire house. And I mean the entire house! The closets, dressers, shelves - everything. Bags and bags of stuff went to goodwill, got recycled and thrown in the garbage. Taking time wherever I could get it, the first major overhaul took me one whole month of very intense work. I went to Canadian Tire and bought a couple of shelving units for my storage/laundry room and bins (everything seemed to be on sale)  for our toy closet. After that I spent the next few months going back over these same areas fine tuning what I'd already done.

What started out of neccesity has now become a passion.  Decluttering was the first (most crucial) step. Since then I've been discovering how organizing my home not only makes it easier to clean and more peaceful to live in, but it also helps make my home more beautiful. What I used to think had to do with the size of a home or expensive furnishings can easily be accomplished with a little organizing. The use of  every day items like baskets, bins, vases, and even decorative magazine files and paper trays have worked there way into my heart as I've seen them transform my house.

From my own experience I can look back and see that it ("it" being focusing merely on the cleaning aspect of keeping my home and not the so much the organizing/clutter control) wasn't so much an issue in our first apartment and didn't really become an issue until we had a few children and had been living here for several years. When I first discovered the importance of these thing I remember wondering why no one had ever told me before. So this is why I share my "story". I imagine there must be someone out there who can relate. Whether you've been feeling like all of a sudden things are catching up to you (like I did) or you're just starting out I hope that by sharing what has been helpful to me it may also be helpful for you!

Make Me Smile Monday

Every once in a while as I'm working about the house I see something that makes my heart sing. My busy little 2 year old boy being read to by one (or both of) his older sisters who are 7 and 5. It paints the sweetest picture. He sits there snuggled up close listening contentedly as they read away. When my oldest first started to read and was fluent enough that she could read simple stories out loud I began to encourage her to read to her younger sister. It didn't take much and before long it was a common thing. I can hardly believe that only a few years later and now they are BOTH reading to their younger brother.

What a blessing to have books to read, a comfy couch to snuggle up on, eyes that can see, books to hold and the ability to read. I am so incredibly grateful! I love the sound of their voices and the sight of the togetherness they share over the love of books.

Make Me Smile Mondays

Something I really love that I've seen on a number of different blogs are days of the week that have been designated to a specific topic. For example someone might decide they have a lot to say about sweaters and they'll make posts on Saturdays call "Sweet Sweater Saturdays". (Of course I'm making this one up!) In time I'd like to share some of them with you, but being new to the blogging world I'm not quite sure about the proper way to go about this. Once I've had the chance to figure that out, I look forward to sharing them with you. :)

In the mean time I've decided to start one up here on Life's Journey called "Make Me Smile Mondays". I'm going to start sharing one "little thing" every monday that makes me feel incredibly happy and blessed. You know those times in life when just for a few seconds everything seems to slow right down and you're overwhelmed by a sense of gratefulness for the people (and sometimes even places and things) in your life? Well, I'd love to start sharing some of those moments. Keep an eye out for Monday's post, I can hardly wait to get started!

Recipe Keeper

When it's time to make up my menu plan for the week (and the accompanying grocery list) I don't usually feel very inspired. I enjoy cooking and trying new recipes but I don't like how long it can take to come up with six meal ideas (I reserve one dinner a week for leftovers. My mother-in-love calls this "best of the week" and I've chosen to adopt the term.) while I'm also trying to mix things up a bit week after week. I sometimes find myself trying to remember our family favourites off the top of my head in an effort to avoid searching for them. This is because they're located in three different places: online, in my cookbooks and the 1" binder where I store my printouts and hand written recipes.

Enter this beautiful recipe keeper my mom gave me a while ago.

Knowing it would take a ridiculous amount of time to transfer all of my recipes into it at once, I've slowly been writing out my favourite recipes from the binder I was just talking about onto the fresh new pages of my recipe keeper. As part of the process I went through the entire binder and got rid of the recipes I don't use or know I'm never actually going to try. This cut the number of recipes I had in half. I've been really enjoying how uniform all of my recipes look written on the same pages all the way through, and the fact that it's divided into sections like this:



So today when it was time to meal plan I had a great idea!

I can use this little binder to keep all of my favourite meal ideas in one place. All of my favourite recipes from those 3 different locations! That way, when it's time to sit down and meal plan I can pull out my binder and simply look through it. It will be so much easier to mix it up if I have a large group of favourites to pick from instead of trying to remember them on my own. This makes it seem so much less intimidating to me to try and come up with 1 or 2 new recipes each week just for fun. As new recipes become true favourites they will be added to the binder. If it gets full enough that it becomes too time consuming just to flip through it I'll simply make a reference sheet at the front of the binder listing all of the meals in the binder so I can give it a quick scan.

I imagine this is not a new concept for many, and it's a pretty simple one - but I'm really excited about it! I can hardly wait to get all of my favourites in one place!

In The Eye of the Beholder

Last friday I found myself thinking about friendship. That friendship can be very delicate. It's something we have to nurture and care for if we want it to go beyond the superficial. I was also thinking about the fact that I can be selfish. Sometimes instead of thinking things through I can react emotionally and have moments of insecurity.

Insecurity is not an easy thing for me to write about, because in certain areas I used to be incredibly insecure. As I've begun to understand God's love for me and really embrace it I haven't struggled with it nearly as much. In all honesty I'd prefer to pretend it didn't exist in my life at all. But denying that it's ever there won't help me in those "moments of weakness".

Insecurity can be very deceiving. At first glance it appears to be all about other people because it causes us to worry about other people. Worry about what they think, what they want, whether or not they think we said or did the right thing. But when we take a closer look we see can that's really not the case at all.

The thing I've noticed is that when I allow insecurities to colour the way I see things, I'm actually allowing it to become all about me. Seeing through insecurity-coloured lenses I tend to over analyze things. I'm more likely to have my feelings hurt by something someone says or feel the need to defend myself when sharing ideas. I'm more likely to misinterpret someone else's motives or misread their body language. When I do that aren't I just really skirting the real issue and passing blame? Without regard for the other persons feelings aren't I blaming them for the fact that I don't feel good about myself? Without truly considering the implications aren't I really blaming their words, actions, body language or motives - when in reality they have absolutely no control over how I feel about myself?

When you consider the risk involved by allowing yourself to be motivated by insecurity the danger is huge! It jeopardizes relationships and leads to hurts and misunderstanding, when all we want in the first place is to be loved and accepted. We've all been hurt, we've all felt the sting of rejection, but we'd be foolish to allow that to stop us from getting close to people. When we put oursleves out there we are taking a risk and we could get hurt. But if you never take the risk you're hurt is not just a possibility it's a guarantee.

In these moments is when I choose to rememeber that life is bigger than catering to my own personal needs and wants. I choose to remember that I can't sit back and waiting for things to happen for me, I have to take a step towards building the relationships I want. I choose to remember that God's love is bigger than me, bigger than my insecurities. As I turn my eyes away from my own hurts and fears, away from my own flaws and inadequacies and towards his unfailing love things begin to fall into place. For me this has been one of life's most rewarding journey's.

The Common Bond

I'm a full-time stay at home mom. Sort of. But that's not really what this blog is about. That's another blog for another time.

If you've read any of my previous entries you may have noticed I don't seem to shy away from heavy subjects. It might surprise you to know how many things I hesitate to write about. When I write I want to write with understanding and compassion. I want anyone who reads my blog (even those who disagree) to feel safe listening to what I have to say. What I don't want is for them to walk away feeling assaulted or condemned. If I feel myself wanting to write with some sort of an agenda - to vent or prove a point - instead of just sharing from the heart I try and rein it in.

Being a stay at home mom is one of those topics for me. A couple of times I've wanted to dive into some of the issues involved with being a stay at home mom. I love being a stay at home mom, but it can be hard. And there is sacrifice involved. Same goes for the working mom - on both counts. So this is where I find my self putting it off and putting it off. I think of all the beautiful, amazing and committed mother's who work outside the home while also raising their family and I just can't do it. My concern has been that by exploring some of the issues I deal with in my life in writing someone may misinterpret my intentions. Being a mom is a big responsibility whether you have 1 child or 5, whether you stay at home or work. So before I delve into some of things I face being a (sort of) stay at home mom, I want to explore the things we mothers - all of us - have in common.

1) We all share a mother's heart. It's what makes us tick. We have the same long term goals in mind: To raise our children in a safe, loving and secure environment. To establish healthy boundaries for them so they know how to operate in a world that's full of other people. To raise our children to be healthy, responsible adults one day who make wise choices and go out into the world and make a positive impact, whether big or small. We want the best for our children, and we know that the long term benefits are more important than short term satisfaction, even though it sometimes breaks our hearts to try and teach them.

2) We've all wrestled with the choice. We had our first (maybe only) child and then wrestled with whether or not to go back to work or stay home - even if there may have been little choice. It may have been hard but in the end we've done what we sincerely believe is best for ourselves - and most importantly - our families.

3) We all need to feel validation. We want to be respected and appreciated as women. We want to be known for being intelligent and hard working, because we are. We may not be perfect and we may have different styles of doing things but we don't want to be looked down on. We want to be recognized as valid, contributing and essential by our families, co-workers and friends. We want people to know that what we do matters - we matter!

4) We all have to work at finding balance. We're busy and we have a lot on our plates. So we struggle sometimes to find time for our children, spouses, our families and our friends. We need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to give the way we need to. It can be hard to find time for ourselves.

5) We all have a desire to be appreciated and understood. We long to be understood by our peers and our families. We want to be valued as an individual and respected as women who are also loving mothers. We want people to see past our role as mom and get to know an appreciate us for who we really are. We long to have a voice.

6) We all have to work at remaining consistent. Discipling your children can be is hard work. Thinking through different approaches to things that arise (especially as they keep getting older) and choosing what's best is a big job. But being consistent in our approach can sometimes be even harder. You're at a friends house, you're out in public, you're sick, you're running late; there are plenty of opportunities to take the easy way out. But no matter what, we have to be intentional in our parenting and do what's right no matter how we're feeling.

7) We all have questions and concerns. Lots of them! It begins when we’re expecting and I’m pretty sure it's safe to assume it never really ends. What car seat is best? When do we start them on baby food? How do I get them to sleep through the night? How can I possibly keep my house clean? Is it really time to start school already? What if someone’s mean to them? When’s their next shot? What about "the talk"?

Last of all I think we all need support. We need to have other women to talk to and relate with. We need to know that we're not the only person who thinks and feels like we do. We need to have the freedom to express our side of things in a loving, open-minded and understanding manner. We need the freedom to connect, listen and share without feeling insecure and defensive.

We need to remember the common bond.

Food for Thought

I've just started reading this book. It's called "crazy love: overwhelmed by a relentless God" by Francis Chan. Jason and I are reading it together (he's further along then I am) and while reading the first chapter there were a few parts he stopped to read out loud to me. Pretty thought provoking stuff. Now I'm reading the first chapter and I feel the need to share part of it with all of you. (Big surprise, right?)

Here it is, I hope you like it is much as I do! 

"We need to stop giving people excuses not to believe in God. You've probably heard the expression 'I believe in God, just not organized religion.' I don't think people would say that if the church truly lived like we are called to live. The expression would change to 'I can't deny what the church does, but I don't believe in your God.' At least then they'd address their rejection of God rather than use the church as a scape goat."

Special thanks to "brother Tim" for the buying the book for us as a gift. We value your recommendations! :)

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

I've developed an aversion to calling myself pro-life

For a lot of people the term pro-life tends to evoke images of angry, judgemental sign waving people. How has a term that literally means "for life" earned for itself such negative associations?

I think for women who make the choice to have an abortion it's never an easy choice. We live in a world that seems to dictate when and how we start our families. As women we can be made to feel that our value is in getting an education, starting a career, maintaining our looks, taking care of our health, becoming financially secure, getting married, buying a house. Then once you've been married for a few years it's safe to take the next step and start a family. There are so many pressures!

All the while living in a world that scoffs at the idea of abstinence while promoting "safe sex".

It's really no wonder women find themselves making this decision.

What would happen then when you have all of these expectations for yourself and then you found yourself pregnant? Your parents, your family, your friends, your peers, all have those same expectations. You might fear not being able to provide for your child. You might fear that having this baby will mean giving up one day getting married and having a family. You might fear the thought of sacrificing your career, your time, your energy and your youth only to be looked at in judgement for being a young mother. Would that be so far fetched?

What if this young woman didn't have people around her supporting her, advocating for her and her body and her baby? What if she had people she loved, people she looked up to telling her what to do? What if she went for professional advice where they refused to acknowledge the life inside her, deliberately calling it a mass of cells or an embryo and avoiding the word baby in order to pressure her into making a decision? What if they tell her it's just a fast and simple procedure, she'll be in and out of the clinic in one day and life will get right back to normal? What if they don't tell her that it might be painful? That she's at risk of infection? That there's a risk of bleeding? That she will be at risk for suffering from depression? Anger? Insomnia? Nightmares? That she could have fertility problems later in life? That she might feel the need to turn herself off to her own emotions in order to avoid facing her own grief? That she will never forget what happened? That it may take over 6 years before she's able to deal with any of these feelings?

It really is no wonder women are making this decision!

What happens when a woman makes the decision to have an abortion and she discovers that the weight hasn't truly been lifted? Things haven't gone back to normal. Can she go to the people she loves, the ones she looks up to and tell them they were wrong? That it didn't make life just "go back to normal"? That she doesn't feel like she's looking at a clear slate, only a broken one?

Where else can she turn? Does she go to those she knows condemn abortion in the first place? Won't they judge her and shake their judgemental heads? Won't they look at her with that "I told you so" look on their faces?

How many women have felt they had "no choice" when it came to having an abortion, only to be left confused, hurting and with no one to turn to?

My heart has been breaking to find a way to speak out on this issue. We've lost focus, instead of simply allowing ourselves to love unconditionally we're pushing people away. How heartbreaking it would be for someone in my life to be holding on to this memory and not feel safe to share it with me.

My aversion to calling myself pro-life has come out of the thought of all the women who carry this heartache and feel they have no one to talk to. I believe life is sacred - all life. Including the lives of all of the women who've made this choice.

Let's not sacrifice a single life for the sake of any cause.  

Sweet Suprise

Today marks day 8 of eating gluten-free. I've been speculating for a long time as to whether or not I may have a gluten intolerance. So I'm doing a little experiment to see how it goes. Have I made any discoveries yet? Let me get back to you in a few months. ;)

In the mean time I've been searching for recipes to replace a lot of the foods I love to eat that are made with wheat. I thought I'd share this yummy recipe I found since I was actually quite surprised at how good they were. I expected them to be good, but these actually happen to really, really yummy.

http://vegetablejapan.blogspot.com/2008/10/gluten-free-chocolate-cupcakes-with.html

I made a few little changes to the recipe. I used regular milk instead of soy and I didn't bother spending the extra money on organic vanilla or "good" cocoa, and the recipe turned out quite fine. "Good" cocoa is actually really expensive. Gotta keep it in the budget!  

(As a little side note...I think organic foods for the most part are great but I firmly believe that what the food itself is a lot more important than whether it's organic or not. Organic white flour for instance still has had all of its nutrients stripped out of it, so is it really any better for you? You'd benefit more from the fiber and nutrients that are found in a whole grain despite not being organic.)

The one other thing I should point out is that the batter was pretty runny, but; once cooked it had a lovely cake/brownie type texture. Also I used vegetable shortening to lightly grease the muffin tin since I was out of muffin liners. Once they were cooled (about 20-30 minutes on the cooling rack) they lifted out nicely.

Let me know what you think. I'm hoping you'll find them a sweet suprise. :)

My own personal shout out to Dr. Kevin Leman

Our three children are not picky eaters. I appreciate this so very much about them. They will eat almost anything I put in front of them and finish what's on their plate. They enjoy fruits and vegetables and are willing to try new things. They even love to compliment me on my cooking.

No seriously...I'm actually not being sarcastic!

It's only been fairly recently that I even began to contemplate the whole thing. We've had many people comment on what great eaters our kids are. On the other hand I've also had enough conversations with people to know that there are other families struggling. All of this got me thinking...

What's our secret? Simply this: I absolutely refuse to get into power struggles with them over food. I won't! I won't try and force them to eat anything and I won't give in to any demands. I expect them to eat a reasonable size serving at every meal. (Age appropriately not too big and not too small.) I expect them to eat what I put on the table. They're not allowed to complain about what I make, either. No one gets dessert (when we have it) unless they've finished what's on their plate. I won't make any exceptions!

I've used the same approach with both our girls and am now going through the process with our little 2 year old boy. From the time they're old enough to say "NO!", shake their head or cry and complain about what I offer them, my response is simply: "Ok. That's alright." and then I move their drink or food into the middle of the table. I say nothing else and go back to my own meal. You would be amazed how well this works! Usually the response is immediate: they actually do want it! Of course manners are neccesary to get whatever it is back. And no tears or pouting allowed. If it were to happen when they were a bit older I'd say, "That's alright! You don't have to eat it, it's up to you. We'll put it in the fridge in case you get hungry later." And (if it comes to that) their meal is put in the fridge and they can eat it whenever they like. If they choose not to they can join us for our next meal but there will be no snack before then. Kids are smart, if they know they can refuse their meal now for something they prefer later of course they'll skip their meal now. They learn how to work the system! Once the next meal comes around they can begin again with a fresh start.

One thing I love about this approach is that because it's a response I've thought about and planned in advance it's easier to not get frustrated about it. Also, it's the same response everytime. If it ever were to escalate to loud disruptive tears or fighting that's when they would get carried up to their room set on their bed and told, "When you're done you can come back down and join us." There's no big discussion, there's simply a choice - and the choice is their's!

The concept behind the "secret" to getting our kids to eat I discovered in Kevin Leman's book, "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours". What a blessing that another mom with young children I knew recommended it to me back when Sarah was only 2! I've been so very happy to see how it's worked for our family. If you haven't read this book you should definitely check it out. I'm pretty convinced you'll be glad you did!

Love and Marriage

When I was about 12 years old I was afraid of the very idea of marriage. I felt marriage only led to heartache so why even bother? I didn't really have many examples of healthy, thriving marriages in my life. And when I was younger unfortunately I allowed the good examples I did have to be overshadowed by other more painful ones I was aware of.

I'm now 28 years old and Jason and I are coming up to our 8 year wedding anniversary. Being married to Jason has honestly been the greatest blessing of my life.

Jason and I met almost 10 years ago. We met on Friday, September 22, 2000; I had just turned 19. I was living in St. Catharines with my family at the time and my mom made a trip to Port Perry for the weekend to visit an old family friend. My sister and I went along for the ride. When we met we had an instant connection...I was SO shy and nervous. I later discovered he went downstairs to his dad and brothers and told them about the "hot girl" sitting upstairs in the kitchen. ;) I ended up going with him and his friend Mike to watch them play music at a church service in Whitby. We had a lot of fun hanging out and talking that weekend. I remember looking out the window of my mom's car once we'd pulled away from the house and out of sight, silent tears running down my face. I was pretty devastated - I figured I'd never see him again.

After leaving a spontaneous birthday message (a few days later on Sept. 27) for Jason on his parents phone, he returned my call and got my e-mail address from me. We began e-mailing each other every day (loooong letters - we actually got to know each other quite well that way). He came to St.Catharines for a few visits and by January we were dating. I wouldn't admit to this of course prefering to call Jason my "buddy". I was still afraid. Afraid I could never actually find true happiness in life, afraid God would "make me" give him up, afraid I didn't deserve him. I thought that in order to even get to know him I had to "know" that he was the one. So silly - and quite frankly - rather embarassing to look back on!!!!

As a teenager I remember pondering the idea of finding "the one" with my girlfriends. The response I remember getting from those older and wiser than us was "you just know". And so there I was armed with the knowledge that when I met the person I was meant to be with I would "just know". And it didn't help me out one little bit! If anything it just scared me more! Maybe "just knowing" works for some, but it's definitely not the advice I'll be giving my daughters or my son as they grow older in the years to come. I already tell my girls to marry somebody like their daddy, while pointing out his many wonderful attributes. ;) I'm sure there have been people who just "knew" they'd found "the one" only to have things end in heart break.

Somehow I had this notion that God had a very specific and detailed life planned out for me and I had to find all the pieces to the puzzle and put it together entirely on my own in order to be in what people like to call "God's will". This was a very scary prospect for me...how was I possibly supposed to figure out who the one person in the whole entire world was?

As I've grown as a person and come to discover that I don't have to earn God's love my understanding of what I believe it means to be in God's will has matured. I do believe that prayer is essential and needs to be a consistent part of our lives. So should the act of trusting our futures and our lives to Him. I believe that when we trust our lives to Him, that we will begin to see God's hand at work in our lives. These are really just a natural response to understanding God's love for us and his interest in our lives. BUT, I also believe God has given us a brain for a reason and sometimes the answer is right there in front of us and we just don't know what to look for.

The advice I see myself giving my kids (what I would tell you if you were a good friend looking for advice) would be this:

1) Use Wisdom: Wisdom would say to choose someone who works hard and can keep a job. It would also be prudent to choose someone who places the same sort of value on spending time together that you do. Someone who doesn't have anger, drug, or alchohol problems. Don't choose someone who is manipulative or abusive. If you have family or friends who have serious concerns (ones they can articulate) about the relationship or the person you're with take that into consideration. Look for someone who encourages you to have healthy relationships with family and friends outside of the relationship you have with each other.

2) Attraction: It's not the only thing but it is an important thing...you HAVE to be attracted to each other! People sometimes worry about this being superficial and think they should be able to overcome a lack of attraction with time and getting to know each other. Sometimes it happens that way, but not usually. And when it does I think it happens naturally and not as a result of someone willing it to happen. Sure it can be superficial if the only connection you have with someone is physical attraction and nothing else, but there still has to be an attraction!

3) Trust: Do you trust them? Have they ever done anything to seriously break your trust? Trust is essential, and it's definitely something that develops over time.

4) Shared World Views: It is so important to find someone that you see eye to eye with on the big stuff, the things that are going to affect your day to day life choices as well as your major decisions as a couple. I don't think that you will ever find someone you agree with absolutely everything about, but it's good to be aware of what issues/beliefs are important to you and find someone who views the world the same way you do. Another major aspect of this I think is what is their take on marriage and family? Some people believe marriage is a lifelong commitment and others go into marriage seeing divorce as a back-up plan in case anything goes wrong. If you're truly at the point where you want to find someone you could have a future with be honest with yourself about where the relationship is at. If you're investing your time, energy and heart into it, make sure they're worth it!

5) Friendship: Jason is absolutely the best friend I've ever had and I feel safe telling him anything. I recognize that as women we have a need for girlfriends and being able to connect wth other women, just as men have a need to connect with other guys in their own guy way (which for my husband revolves largely around sports, music and video games). I do think it's healthy for every person (married or single) to have friendships for themself as an individual, but; marriage is a lifelong commitment, who better to spend it with than your closest friend?

6) Love: You have to be in love with each other!

7) Honesty: I think one of the most important types of honesty in a relatonship (aside from a general honesty and openness with each other) is the willingness to be able to look at yourself and be honest about what motivates you. The ability to be honest and recognize when you're wrong and when you need to work towards making changes. It's always so much easier to look at your partner and see in them what you think needs to be changed. However, I've learned the power there is in being able to own up to attitudes and behaviours of my own that need to change. When two people in a relationship are both willing to be honest with themselves about who they are and what they need to work on, it can make life a lot easier on both people.

8) Be Realistic : Recognize that you're not perfect and that you'll never find someone who's perfect either. Every healthy relatonship has a learning curve and every person has a need to mature and grow.

I'm very passionate about marriage. Marriage can be a beautiful thing. It has the potential to bring amazing joy, connection and belonging to two people. We've all seen the heartache and heartbreak it can cause, we've all seen people who've wielded the idea of marriage and used it as a means to judge and condemn those who do things differently. It must break God's heart to see that happen. If we truly believe in marriage we need to let it speak for itself, in the way we choose our spouses and in the way we live our married lives.

I came across this thought somewhere and I just love it: "Don't marry someone that you can simply imagine spending the rest of your life with...marry the person you just can't imagine spending the rest of your life without."

"My heart is like the pen of a ready writer."

In May 2007 I set up an account here on Blogger.com thinking I could use it as an outlet to write, simply because I love to write. I often have things I'm contemplating, things I feel God is working on in my life, current events I find exciting, strange, or sometimes even disturbing. I could write on just about anything.

My husband and I are blessed to be raising three healthy, beautiful children. By means of babysitting for friends of ours, I also have the privilege of being able to stay at home. Raising a family, and caring for a home is a big job as well as welcoming two extra little ones into our home four days a week. It's easy for me to feel like there are already too few hours in the day, why add another thing to that list?

My motivation for finally beginning to blog is threefold. First, to allow myself the opportunity to write and hopefully in the process polish my writing skills a bit. Second, to challenge myself to change and growth, knowing I have a whole lifetime of growth left ahead of me. I long to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. I long to be a better woman. I hope that by organizing some of my thoughts in writing will help me to recognize things in my life I need to work on and help empower me to make a change. And third, that maybe in doing so I might encourage or even challenge someone concerning something in their own lives. I know countless other people have done this for me! If I can manage to accomplish any of these things, than I think it will all be worth the time and effort in the end.