Our three children are not picky eaters. I appreciate this so very much about them. They will eat almost anything I put in front of them and finish what's on their plate. They enjoy fruits and vegetables and are willing to try new things. They even love to compliment me on my cooking.
No seriously...I'm actually not being sarcastic!
It's only been fairly recently that I even began to contemplate the whole thing. We've had many people comment on what great eaters our kids are. On the other hand I've also had enough conversations with people to know that there are other families struggling. All of this got me thinking...
What's our secret? Simply this: I absolutely refuse to get into power struggles with them over food. I won't! I won't try and force them to eat anything and I won't give in to any demands. I expect them to eat a reasonable size serving at every meal. (Age appropriately not too big and not too small.) I expect them to eat what I put on the table. They're not allowed to complain about what I make, either. No one gets dessert (when we have it) unless they've finished what's on their plate. I won't make any exceptions!
I've used the same approach with both our girls and am now going through the process with our little 2 year old boy. From the time they're old enough to say "NO!", shake their head or cry and complain about what I offer them, my response is simply: "Ok. That's alright." and then I move their drink or food into the middle of the table. I say nothing else and go back to my own meal. You would be amazed how well this works! Usually the response is immediate: they actually do want it! Of course manners are neccesary to get whatever it is back. And no tears or pouting allowed. If it were to happen when they were a bit older I'd say, "That's alright! You don't have to eat it, it's up to you. We'll put it in the fridge in case you get hungry later." And (if it comes to that) their meal is put in the fridge and they can eat it whenever they like. If they choose not to they can join us for our next meal but there will be no snack before then. Kids are smart, if they know they can refuse their meal now for something they prefer later of course they'll skip their meal now. They learn how to work the system! Once the next meal comes around they can begin again with a fresh start.
One thing I love about this approach is that because it's a response I've thought about and planned in advance it's easier to not get frustrated about it. Also, it's the same response everytime. If it ever were to escalate to loud disruptive tears or fighting that's when they would get carried up to their room set on their bed and told, "When you're done you can come back down and join us." There's no big discussion, there's simply a choice - and the choice is their's!
The concept behind the "secret" to getting our kids to eat I discovered in Kevin Leman's book, "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours". What a blessing that another mom with young children I knew recommended it to me back when Sarah was only 2! I've been so very happy to see how it's worked for our family. If you haven't read this book you should definitely check it out. I'm pretty convinced you'll be glad you did!
No seriously...I'm actually not being sarcastic!
It's only been fairly recently that I even began to contemplate the whole thing. We've had many people comment on what great eaters our kids are. On the other hand I've also had enough conversations with people to know that there are other families struggling. All of this got me thinking...
What's our secret? Simply this: I absolutely refuse to get into power struggles with them over food. I won't! I won't try and force them to eat anything and I won't give in to any demands. I expect them to eat a reasonable size serving at every meal. (Age appropriately not too big and not too small.) I expect them to eat what I put on the table. They're not allowed to complain about what I make, either. No one gets dessert (when we have it) unless they've finished what's on their plate. I won't make any exceptions!
I've used the same approach with both our girls and am now going through the process with our little 2 year old boy. From the time they're old enough to say "NO!", shake their head or cry and complain about what I offer them, my response is simply: "Ok. That's alright." and then I move their drink or food into the middle of the table. I say nothing else and go back to my own meal. You would be amazed how well this works! Usually the response is immediate: they actually do want it! Of course manners are neccesary to get whatever it is back. And no tears or pouting allowed. If it were to happen when they were a bit older I'd say, "That's alright! You don't have to eat it, it's up to you. We'll put it in the fridge in case you get hungry later." And (if it comes to that) their meal is put in the fridge and they can eat it whenever they like. If they choose not to they can join us for our next meal but there will be no snack before then. Kids are smart, if they know they can refuse their meal now for something they prefer later of course they'll skip their meal now. They learn how to work the system! Once the next meal comes around they can begin again with a fresh start.
One thing I love about this approach is that because it's a response I've thought about and planned in advance it's easier to not get frustrated about it. Also, it's the same response everytime. If it ever were to escalate to loud disruptive tears or fighting that's when they would get carried up to their room set on their bed and told, "When you're done you can come back down and join us." There's no big discussion, there's simply a choice - and the choice is their's!
The concept behind the "secret" to getting our kids to eat I discovered in Kevin Leman's book, "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours". What a blessing that another mom with young children I knew recommended it to me back when Sarah was only 2! I've been so very happy to see how it's worked for our family. If you haven't read this book you should definitely check it out. I'm pretty convinced you'll be glad you did!
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