Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

I've developed an aversion to calling myself pro-life

For a lot of people the term pro-life tends to evoke images of angry, judgemental sign waving people. How has a term that literally means "for life" earned for itself such negative associations?

I think for women who make the choice to have an abortion it's never an easy choice. We live in a world that seems to dictate when and how we start our families. As women we can be made to feel that our value is in getting an education, starting a career, maintaining our looks, taking care of our health, becoming financially secure, getting married, buying a house. Then once you've been married for a few years it's safe to take the next step and start a family. There are so many pressures!

All the while living in a world that scoffs at the idea of abstinence while promoting "safe sex".

It's really no wonder women find themselves making this decision.

What would happen then when you have all of these expectations for yourself and then you found yourself pregnant? Your parents, your family, your friends, your peers, all have those same expectations. You might fear not being able to provide for your child. You might fear that having this baby will mean giving up one day getting married and having a family. You might fear the thought of sacrificing your career, your time, your energy and your youth only to be looked at in judgement for being a young mother. Would that be so far fetched?

What if this young woman didn't have people around her supporting her, advocating for her and her body and her baby? What if she had people she loved, people she looked up to telling her what to do? What if she went for professional advice where they refused to acknowledge the life inside her, deliberately calling it a mass of cells or an embryo and avoiding the word baby in order to pressure her into making a decision? What if they tell her it's just a fast and simple procedure, she'll be in and out of the clinic in one day and life will get right back to normal? What if they don't tell her that it might be painful? That she's at risk of infection? That there's a risk of bleeding? That she will be at risk for suffering from depression? Anger? Insomnia? Nightmares? That she could have fertility problems later in life? That she might feel the need to turn herself off to her own emotions in order to avoid facing her own grief? That she will never forget what happened? That it may take over 6 years before she's able to deal with any of these feelings?

It really is no wonder women are making this decision!

What happens when a woman makes the decision to have an abortion and she discovers that the weight hasn't truly been lifted? Things haven't gone back to normal. Can she go to the people she loves, the ones she looks up to and tell them they were wrong? That it didn't make life just "go back to normal"? That she doesn't feel like she's looking at a clear slate, only a broken one?

Where else can she turn? Does she go to those she knows condemn abortion in the first place? Won't they judge her and shake their judgemental heads? Won't they look at her with that "I told you so" look on their faces?

How many women have felt they had "no choice" when it came to having an abortion, only to be left confused, hurting and with no one to turn to?

My heart has been breaking to find a way to speak out on this issue. We've lost focus, instead of simply allowing ourselves to love unconditionally we're pushing people away. How heartbreaking it would be for someone in my life to be holding on to this memory and not feel safe to share it with me.

My aversion to calling myself pro-life has come out of the thought of all the women who carry this heartache and feel they have no one to talk to. I believe life is sacred - all life. Including the lives of all of the women who've made this choice.

Let's not sacrifice a single life for the sake of any cause.