There are a number of terms that have caused me to do a great deal of soul searching, the word Christian (much like the term "pro-life") has been one of them. When I first signed up for facebook and was filling out my personal information I remember wondering what I should write next to the spot where it said "Religion". I wasn't sure I really wanted to label myself as a Christian - even though I am - simply because it means different things to different people.
The dilemma (for me) was this: If being a Christian means being a witness to those who aren't already followers of Christ, will using the word itself be a help or a hindrance? Will they know what I mean or will they think I'm just saying I go to church? I considered coming up with something else to use in lieu of the word Christian, but it felt a little gimmicky to try and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Did I really need to come up with a more creative way of saying it? Besides, I wasn't so sure that was really the issue.
I don't hide the fact that I'm a Christian and I'm very open about what this means for me. I'm not raising the question because I want to make my faith sound cool or "dress it up". It's not out of a need to placate anyone, but out of a desire to not be misunderstood.
It seems as though we've spent years trying to carve out an entire little Christian world that we can live in (or perhaps escape to?), with Christian music* (we're talking bands, cds, concerts, music festivals), books, stores, movies, shows even jewellery and clothing. We can't reasonably refer to things as being Christian, can we? Sure, songs on a CD can have a Christian message and can be written and sung by Christian people, but that doesn't make the CD a Christian. Much like a country can't be a Christian and neither can a school. We can base a curriculum on Christian principles and hire Christian teachers, but that doesn't make the school a Christian school. (It doesn't even guarantee all of the students going are Christians, either!) Things can't be Christians - people are Christians** What I'm saying when I call myself a Christian is: "I'm a follower of Christ", and somewhere along the line that's getting lost in translation. What do we (us followers of Christ) need to do differently to make it more clear?
I wonder if we've wasted a lot of time and energy trying to seperate ourselves in the wrong ways. Should I be concerned that everything I have and do is deemed "Christian"? Or should I start living the way Christ wants me to live? And how does Christ want me to live? When I'm honest about it, it's easier and it demands less of me to simply live in a "Christian world" and do "Christian things". I wonder if we often make this decision out of fear. I'll admit, when it comes to living like Christ, I can feel the struggle within myself. The tugging in two different directions:
On one hand it's scary to think of reaching out to people who are hurting. I've reached out to people before only to be shut down, and it hurts. The thought of truly becoming friends with someone who's lonely and hurting can sometimes be humbling. Some might be needy and some might even be hard to get along with. They might not always be the people I'd naturally gravitate towards for friendship, but Jesus said when I love the poor, the hurting, the hungry, the dying, the orphans, the widows, the lonely (the socially awkward?), that I'm actually loving him! And if I neglect them (even if I simply don't go out of my way to reach them) I'm actually neglecting him! This is how much people mean to Jesus!
On the other hand (despite how scary it could seem) I feel this stirring in my heart to "go into the world and find the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned" and reach out to them. I feel this burden in my heart to become a part of my community in a bigger, more personal way. This is what Jesus commanded! He said this is how I will one day be judged when I stand before him. (Matthew 25:31-46) My heart has been breaking with the questions "Am I truly doing this? How can I do this more?" I want my life to be completely transformed by them.
There's also the matter of what I sincerely believe to be my primary purpose in life: raising my children in love and teaching (showing them by example) what it means to be a follower of Christ. I'm not willing to shy away from lovingly telling my children the truth that all have sinned and are in need of a saviour or teaching them that the Bible is very clear (in some ways) as to how we as Christians are called to live. At the same time I feel it's crucial that my children learn not to compare how others live to the way we do but to love people unconditionally the way Christ has called us to love. (The way he loves us!) I truly can't think of a better way to teach these concepts than to step up to this challenge and choose to be a part of the solution. How can I love the hurting and the broken when I don't know any? How can I be understanding when everyone I really know is a Christian just like I am?
So, in the end I decided to use the word Christian instead of trying to come up with something more clever. It's a word people are very familiar with anyway. I try to avoid calling things Christians, instead referring to the people or possibly even the message involved as Christian instead. I continue to wrestle with what it truly means to be a Christian (a follower of Christ) and keep praying that as God changes my heart and I begin to embrace the way He's called me to live it will speak much louder than the word itself.
*Please don't misunderstand the point I'm trying to make here. I'm not making a statement about the music itself, most of the music I listen to is by Christians, and most would be labelled "Christian music". If you know anything about Switchfoot, they're my all time favourtie band and I love their approach. I think I can feel another blog coming on! ;)
**I first heard the idea presented this way by Rob Bell several years ago when reading his book Velvet Elvis.
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