When I gave birth to our second child and Jason and I discovered we now had two girls, it very quickly became important to me to somehow learn to distinguish both S and R's individuality and try to encourage it within them. I want them to both be appreciated for who they are, to celebrate their shared interests and similarities, as well as those traits that are uniquely theirs. It became even more important to me as S and R both grew and I began to see that while we had to teach S to be brave, try new things and meet new people instead we had to teach R to slow down, take things in and notice what was happening around her. Early on we could see this rather clear distinction and I wanted to make sure that we never sent the message that one was the "good quiet one" while the other the "rambunctious trouble maker". We have two beautiful daughters and I want them to grow up knowing we see it.
When your children are young you know that as they grow you'll discover who they are and what strengths they have, but you have to be patient and wait it out. I began when they were both young to tell them they were beautiful whenever I saw them behaving beautifully instead of just telling them they were beautiful because of their looks. My hope was that it would set me up to recognize their natural strengths as they began to develop. Even though S and R are still quite young I can already see strengths developing within each of them that are uniquely their own.
S is our nurturer. She loves babies, and her instinct is to care for those who are younger than her. Whenever her younger cousins (I who's 11 months and C who's 4 months) are around she goes straight to them. I honestly don't know if I can think of a time when we've visited with either one of them and she hasn't asked to hold them. She sits there for as long as she possibly can and lets them hold her finger. She talks to them gently and tries to make them smile. She's incredibly patient - for the most part, she is only a child after all ;) - with her younger brother and teaches him and explains things to him.
R is our server. The best way to describe it is that she has a heart to serve. It's incredible to see how she recognizes what needs to be done and is always so quick to go and do it. It makes her happy to run and get a bag of milk from the fridge at dinner or pass a napkin if you need one. Anytime I'm baking something and need ingredients she's right there pulling them out of the fridge and the cupboard getting them out for me. At church she helps wash the dishes after the service sometimes simply bacause she wants to help. There's no reward and they don't ask, she simply offers.
It's been such a blessing to begin to see the gifts God has given them and I can already begin to see glimpses of his own unique strength in our little man J. It reminds me that we've all been given these gifts. Maybe if we've neglected them for too long or no one has ever been there to truly nurture them, it will take some time, patience and some relying on God to discover them - but they're there - and the world we live in can only be made more beautiful if we embrace them.
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